No that isn’t a typo. A vibrator bar. Such a glorious thing is an actual reality, at least in Tokyo. Let’s buzz on in, shall we?

It’s like being in a normal bar.

Are you shitting me?

I am not. The Vibe Bar Wild One is a unique drinking establishment located in the heart of Shibuya, and it happens to be full of sex aids. Lots and lots of sex aids. Of course, it’s not just a case of rocking up and laying your filthy mitts all over some choice dildos, oh no. This is Japan! There’s etiquette to consider.

Glove up bitches.

How does one visit a vibrator bar?

First off, I recommend booking it. It’s popular, and spaces fill up fast (It’s tiny and has limited capacity) so reserve or leave unsatisfied. There’s a cover fee of 3,000 yen, but with this you can stay 90 minutes and it includes two drinks. They have a strict policy on men; namely, no single men, or groups of men. Couples are welcome, and so are groups where the ratio is more women than men, but the bar tries to foster a cosy, safe environment without any letchy men. Hallelujah.

Penis worship.

Tell me more…

The bar is home to over 300 domestic and international vibrator and sex aid brands, so you are literally spoilt for choice. You are free to touch the vibrators (wearing gloves), but not actually use them in the bar (I feel like this is obvious but it’s in their rules which leads me to believe perhaps it isn’t). They sell everything they display, so if one catches your eye you can take home a new one in a box. Staff are on hand to help you choose the one that fits your needs, but some may not speak English fluently enough to properly talk to you about thrust and rotation, but picking them up and pushing buttons will tell you that.

Darth dildo.

What can I expect?

A fuckton of dicks for a start, but it’s not just the plethora of dildos (and other weird shit) dotted about all over the place, it’s how the theme of sex and pleasure penetrates (not sorry) every inch of the bar. You enter through a large vagina, there are vagina-shaped chairs, dick shaped decor, Shunga on every wall (ancient Japanese sex art), and even the toilets are themed. Speaking of toilets…

I love that the clitoris is a light.

Toilets?

Okay this deserves it’s own spot, because it’s insane. There’s two toilets in the Vibe Bar, I suggest you visit both. On the left is a western style toilet. Atop it sits a blonde with her legs tucked up and her vagina out (not a real one, can you imagine?) The toilet seat is two penises, the toilet roll holder is a man fucking a woman, and there’s a vagina for a door handle. On the right is a squat toilet. The toilet is the body of a Koi, in front of the Koi is a man with a very large appendage, which the Koi is, well, he’s sucking it. Next to the man’s foot is a tiny geisha embracing a not so tiny penis, and next to that is a turtle fucking another turtle. I don’t think I’ve ever visited a more memorable commode.

The western toilet.

The squat toilet.

Alrighty then. So, back to the bar…

Once you’re seated (the cover charge is paid on entry, take off your shoes, and the host will seat you), grab one of the nearby menus and select your drinks. They have a pretty decent selection; beers, wines, spirits, and cocktails. I opted for the latter. The first one I tried was a fruity strawberry cocktail, topped with frozen fruit. I have no idea what alcohol was mixed in, but it had a sweet, refreshing taste. Next I went with mint chocolate chip, which tasted just like ice cream, and which I could’ve happily knocked back until I passed out.

Dicks and drinks.

Soooo… the vibrators…

Let’s talk about them, since they are the star of the show. I don’t think there’s many places you could go that would have the choice this place has, and I’ve been to a few sex shops in my time. As previously mentioned, 300 varieties. Some were just dildos, so no vibration, and ranged from very small to oh-god-why big (no lie, one was the size of my arm), as well as actual vibrators, many of which had more than one function. There were shaped ones, coloured ones, ones with clitoral stimulator’s, ones that pleasured every orifice, and some that looked like they’d wash your dishes for you. There were also some rather “exotic” offerings, such as the fisting dildo. I don’t think I need to elaborate. There are also other things like love eggs and lube on hand, and you’re welcome to taste some of the lube if you so desire (the peach one really did taste like peach), and you can cup the love eggs to your hearts content.

A. Fucking. Fist.

It’s better with friends.

Whilst I imagine this is a fun way to spend a date night, it’s also really fun with a group of friends. I visited with my friend, and we made two new friends outside who tagged along with us. It made the night very entertaining. My Snapchat story was certainly NSFW that night.

Group photo!

Conclusion.

Duh, visit it! Take your SO, drag your friends, hell, take your mother, just make sure you go and soak up the atmosphere. It’s a real buzz.

Website.